I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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