He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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