Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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