sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
