the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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