He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just gargled with NyQuil
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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