Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
