Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize