i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
