Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
