whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
