i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
