No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
