I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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