Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
