he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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