if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
