I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
