Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
