there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Define "chronic" masturbator.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
