soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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