butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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