I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
