Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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