I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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