your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
