Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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