He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
