i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
