Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
