I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize