That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
