Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
