do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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