I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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