You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
