I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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