i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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