Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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