You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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