I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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