I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
