You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize