and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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