Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
