Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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