So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Duck Duck Cougar?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
