WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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