I hate your face
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
