Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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