Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
