Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
