Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
