This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
