Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
