I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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