i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
