watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Michael Bay diarrhea
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
