i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
