And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
