problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
