Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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