Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
