I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
They took my balls.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize