i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Who died my cat blue again?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
