She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
