I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
