He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize