I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
