Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
