You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
