You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I AM VODKA MAN
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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